This morning I was watching Cayden pick through his basket of toys. I often wonder what could be going through the mind of a 9 month old as he delicately, or at times aggressively, pulls one toy out of the way to dig further into the deep abyss of the unknown to grab another. I find myself watching in awe of this little life rummaging through to find the perfect toy to hold him over for the next 12 seconds of his life until the process will repeat itself. While watching this morning God asked me two questions. The first, “Does Cayden disobey you and after you’ve told him not to?” My response to God was “Of course!” God then asked me “Are you excited to see him every morning, regardless of what he did the day before?” My response was “Absolutely!”
I immediately thought of a little boy with squinted eyes from the light, standing up in his crib with his two front teeth shining brightly as his smile over takes his face and his knuckles are white from squeezing the crib so tightly in anticipation. I love it! It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say Casey and I are in a fast paced walk to his bedroom anytime we know he has awakened in anticipation of seeing Him.
God didn’t say anything else but I get it. Having a son of my own has shed light on what God feels for me in a way I can’t describe, if you’re a parent you get it. If you’re not, you will. If you haven’t ever had kids or maybe never will just imagine your heart being on the outside of your body and that’s what having a kid is like. Something that you love with an emotion, passion and gratitude that can’t be matched. Here is a Psalm that God spoke to me two nights ago, I had a dream that I was at an event but didn’t have anything to speak on (every evangelist’s worst nightmare) and God told me to speak Psalm 63. So, here it is.
Psalm 63
1 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.
6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.
9 But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.
11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.
